Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Thought my best days had left me behind

I think I just hit a realization.
I am searching for something that you can usually only obtain in your childhood.
I think there are certain types of friendships that can only develop into the closeness that they have become because of your young years together.
I have a dull pain in my head.  It could be because a number of things...
The fact that the dentist put too much filling in my tooth and so I strain every time i close my jaw
or that my loneliness is getting to me and my restlessness is finally at its peak
or that I have a brain tumor...

I guess its just really dry out.
That must be a metaphor

Maybe the flow in my home isn't correct?!

I miss my friend.  I wish she was here.  I am selfish enough to wish she was here, and I not there.
I actually miss the days I thought I was so bored sitting on the couch with her for hours on the computer...
She inspired me to do art..I really haven't worked on anything since she's gone.

Its one of those friendship where you just feel so comfortable with them, and you know they get you, and are quite like you, but different.

Someone that you really do feel is part of your family.

I think aside from really loving the music, I have been purchasing certain records to feel like I am sharing something with her.

She's my bff for life.  It scares me to think that we will always be far from one another.
But I am thankful for her. 

Why does it have to be so hard as an adult to find that?
I wish it was the summer, 1993, in Michigan.


Monday, November 30, 2009

Unexped and a response is nice

it throws you things you don't expect and creates a journey despite your expected map

I had to do something that was pretty difficult last night.  I still feel kind of sick about it, but I know it was the right choice.  Things get messy when you involve two people in two different worlds.  Friends and's really a sticky thing.  We hope for it to be amazing, but it always isn't so.

A chapter closes to begin a new, Truth.

I love getting responses to things, even if its just a " Got your note, working on it"  or a "Got your note, I am super busy and will get back to you soon"  just a response.

It seems people in this beautiful and sunny state are not really into that..a leisurely pace is much better for your health, but dammit, communication is just as important.

I need a strong group to help keep me up, but if I must go alone, I know I will be just as strong.  I won't fall into people telling me I can't do something.  I thank the ones who know me for telling me otherwise, and reminding me of who I am.

I won't let the flies gather around me.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Style Rookie

Have you seen this girl? 
It's amazing what a good blog will do for you.
All I know is at her age I was not this motivated or this cool...
It will be interesting to see where she goes!

Friday, November 13, 2009


If you ever get a should see them live.
I am saying this, and I have never seen them live.  I missed my last chance because I was in time..
I remember being very intrigued by them not only because of their musical style, choices of instruments and voices, but also because of their gender bending, costumes, makeup, hair...
I would imagine they would be really exciting and inspiring friends.
Click the Milkman link to see them preform live..



Made it to the gym!


Went to go see this movie last night.  Probably the first time I thought Charlotte Gainsbourg was attractive.  This movie was a visual love machine and sound orgasm.

And very very disturbing.  I highly recommend it.

I have a bit of a dip pit in my chest this morning.
maybe a bit of Anxiety?
Time to go to the gym and sweat it out..maybe.  I am supposed to meet my friend there in 5 minutes and I still haven't washed my face.

I have a pretty exciting shoot tomorrow for
with stylist Bailey,
photographers Petrovsky & Ramoe
and artist Mattia Biagi

I am pretty excited to see where this shoot goes, this group is going to be crazy, sexy, and fun.


Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Fresh

Low moments swell in my finger tips, in my shoulders, and in my forehead.

The fear that most people reflect on has made me ask questions about myself.
"Am I more like her than I have ever been?" How could it be. I haven't seen or been around any of them in years..I guess its true. Those first few years are the most formative.

For ever searching for companionship and simultaneous solitude.

I had a rug when I was little just like his. Blame it on a mother who was a interior designer in the early 90's. We also had gold AND silver vertical blinds. OH and mannequins wearing clothing in our living room...

Ah to be Fresh.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

It's True

Time does go by too quickly.
I constantly think of this, and fear that as I do, time moves faster because of it.

New things are in store for this one. An amazing magazine that my partner Alex and I are creating. Also, working on producing and hosting an online series about artists that are in the gay community.

By the end of the fall beginning of winter, these things will have gone into final details and will be available for everyone to see!

Work has been amazing lately. I have gotten the chance to do some great Covers, tears for the fall, and work with some amazing talents.

It's funny how at certain points in your life you think..or I think... "This is probably the highest point I will have for a long time, it can't get better." Then it does. I realize you have to make it can't depend on things to float along to you all the time..hard work is relevant and important.

Lets find inspiration from more than whats expected.
Lets question our worth in hopes to create one.
Lets be moved by things that have nothing to do with who you are.
Open your eyes and ears.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Dreaming of stripclub shame

I had a few dreams last night. One that I can remember involved a group of people who wanted to go to a strip club. I felt anxious...A person in the group noticed my anxiety. I noticed them nothing me and leaned into their ear to tell them in a soft, shameful whisper..." I have never been to a strip club before..."

To their astonishment, they yelled out "YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB BEFORE!???!"

And I felt worse, as everyone stared at me.

Maybe my dreams are trying to haunt me, or maybe the fact that I haven't ever been to a strip club bothers me more than I think it does?
I still have no desire to go though.
c'est la Vie.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

If You Haven't Already!

just go there, you'll see what I mean.


Monday, March 2, 2009

New Interview up

I need a new photo...Oh Bene!

This can be seen at

Gloria NotoMakeup Artist Gloria Noto was the winner of the Reality Show "Get Your Face On". She sat down with YBI to give us the scoop on her background and what she'll do next.

YBI: How long have you been a Makeup Artist?
GN: I have been a makeup artist for almost 6 years now. While I was in art college, I realized that I needed to be out there doing what I really love. I jumped right into it by setting up photo shoots with local photographers. I would not only create the makeup and hair looks, but I would find the model, style the shoot, and direct the shoot. It was a great way for me to learn and grow.

YBI: What made you want to try out for TLC's "Get Your Face On"? What were you hoping to get out of the experience?
GN: I actually didn't know much at all about Napoleon Perdis before the show. My friend somehow got in contact with the casting director and she asked me to come in for an interview and they wanted me for the show right on the spot. I thought it could be fun to show the world what I do and be a part of a something that no one really got a chance to see before, as there really was never a makeup reality TV show before. I figured, why not! I honestly just expected to do my thing, and to hope people liked what they saw. Winning was never something I thought of at the beginning, but as each test passed, I started to get a little more into the competition of things!

YBI: How has being on the show and winning changed your career?
GN: Being on the show and winning allowed me to go on to working for Napoleon Perdis. With that experience I got to do some amazing shoots. I did the makeup for Vogue Australia from one of the competitions on the show which was amazing. I also did all of Napoleon's makeup for his Target line called NP SET. I did the makeup for his TARGET TV Commercial for NP SET, as well as all of the ad's you see for it which were featured in Teen Vogue, American Vogue and many others. I have also done the makeup for the 60th Annual LA Emmy's, working with a huge number of celebrities and TV personalities. With my experiences that I have had with the show, as well as my own personal hard work that I have put into my career, I have been able to sign with the REX agency here in LA. Being able to freelance full time is what I have always wanted and is exactly what I am doing right now. I love it!

YBI: What's 1 thing you wish you knew about the industry when you began your career as a Makeup Artist?
GN: I wish I would have known how to properly pack and buy for my makeup kit. My back would be a lot better if I didn't think I needed every color of eyeshadow, lipstick, cream products, eye liner, lip liners, foundation etc. etc.! My kit now is 5 times lighter and 5 times more practical. I can mix just about anything in my kit to get whatever color or texture I need!

YBI: What's next for Gloria Noto?
GN: Right now I am freelancing full time doing Editorials for magazines, Music Videos, TV and Movies. I am doing exactly what I had always wanted to do! I am also working on pilots for tv shows in the coming months:)

Additional Information:

Friday, February 13, 2009

Gay Fashion Guru?

Me? Gay Fashion Guru?

I was asked to come in to do an interview for this position. Random.
It's later today at 3. Friday the 13th playing tricks on me?

Should be interesting non the less.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Open, Honest, Alive.

This was a very good shoot. It is a great thing when the whole team of artists are there and have the same vision and comfort in themselves and what they do.

Damon Loble is the photographer. He is a really soft spoken, strange guy. I love working with's always thoughtful, and tells a story.

The model , name left out on purpose, was wonderful. Her eyebrows make me cry with joy, and her security in herself shines.


Saturday, January 31, 2009

Dutch designer Iris van Herpen

This body of work can be seen at Amsterdam fashion week day 3. This collection is called Mummification, naturally! Amazing....